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How to stop criticizing yourself

How hurtful are you against yourself these days? Do you
criticize and minimize yourself too often?

Relax, you're not alone. Most of us spend most of the day to talk to ourselves
about ourselves. Unfortunately, much of what we say is negative, restrictive
and cruel.

If you don't believe me, listen to yourself for one day. I can bet that much of
what you are thinking and saying to yourself includes lots of guilt over things
that happened or you torture yourself with anxiety about the future.

This type of negative bullshit destroys the energy we need when we are
struggling to achieve our dreams, so I figure that we should get rid of that
nonsense now.

You will get help to get started and to be nice to yourself in five easy steps:

1. Find out what you say to yourself
Eavesdrop. Take a day to record what you're really saying to yourself. It can
be a daunting experience, but do it anyway. Many people's negative self talk
goes far back in time, perhaps it originates from a negative experience that
has taken root in your head and that affects almost everything you do. Find out
what you say, write it down and review it.

2. Learn how to say stop!
A good method to really notice what you say to yourself is to say the word “stop”
every time something negative or bad comes up in your mind. As soon as you
start picking on yourself, stop and say “stop”! This applies both in your
business and private life when you try to find things to crack down on.

3. Create and stick to a positive story
You've probably noticed how easy it is for your brain to build negative
thoughts on top of other negative thoughts. The chatter in your head never ends,
on the contrary, it's just builds up to be even meaner and more negative. From
now on, you should therefore find a positive story that you can tie to the
goals you have. It may, for example, be about how you look forward to work and
succeed in fulfilling your goals, no matter what obstacles arise. Visualize it.
Imagine the details and make them become so clear that you can almost feel the
taste of them. Watch your dreams being fulfilled as if you have already reached
all the way. It gives you great energy.

4. Replace negative influences with positive influences.
There are external factors - usually other people who may be holding you
back or have done it before and you are still influenced by them. You may spend
time with people who are very negative, for example. If you are not strong,
then it's easy to pick up their negative influence and to start thinking the
same way. Limit your interaction with negative people. Don't discuss your plans
and goals with people you already know are going to crack down on them and you.
Your job will be to look for supportive and positive people. Their positive
energy will affect you to talk better about yourself.

5. Confront your fears
Fears is what holds us back. You might be afraid to take chances because
you're worried about losing the security you have now. YOU are trying to
convince yourself that you are happy as you are, even if deep down you are not.
Ask yourself what you're afraid of. What's the worst thing that can happen?
Take one step at a time to confront your fears and see if there is a way to
allow you to look at things more positively. When you look closely at your
fears like this, you realize that often the worst that can happen is not as bad
as you thought. It might even be that the benefits are worth taking the risks.

PS Keep one thing in mind - How long would you be friends with someone who says
the same things to you - as you say to yourself?



About the author

Stefan Ekberg has worked in marketing for small business for 20 years and has written around 30 books on how small business owners can market themselves with limited resources. . In 2012 Stefan was nominated as Entrepreneur of the Year in Stockholm.

230 000 prescribes to his free newsletter "The 5 minute marketer"
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